It's a Dog's Life: Change the Channel

To get through the dark winter nights, the television becomes a source of entertainment for Teddy and his family, as Helen Stockton, his human translator explains 

Now that the madness of Christmas is over and we’ve emerged, blinking, into the new year, it’s just as well we’ve got the TV to keep us company on the long, dark evenings. Although there are usually a few good things on over the festive period, you need both the time and a family consensus over what makes good viewing in order to watch something. ‘Her Indoors’ predilection for Call the Midwife has been known to clear the lounge! 

What was missed over Christmas, doesn’t really work on catch-up once the decorations have been packed away, back in the loft, and the last mince pie consumed. 

Me and the apprentice have our own views on what constitutes good television. Anything with dogs or wildlife needs a good barking at in my opinion. ‘Them Indoors’ complain that it spoils their viewing pleasure but if they are allowed to shout at the TV then why shouldn’t we? To expect any self-respecting terrier to stay quiet when a giant squirrel appears in your front room is surely too much to ask. 

Sometimes I get so worked up that the TV itself is in danger and ‘Them Indoors’ have to intervene. One of their sneaky tactics is to use the sofa cushions to build a wall in front of my bed in the lounge, so that I can’t see the TV screen from my reclining position. 

As my hearing has diminished somewhat in recent years, this actually works quite well most of the time. The apprentice, Bear, doesn’t really bother unless I start to bark. However, every now and then, I sense I’m missing out on something and get up to have a look... 

‘Them Indoors’ have differing views over what constitutes good TV. ‘Him Indoors’ has a penchant for serious documentaries and history programmes that make ‘Her Indoors’ eyes glaze over. She likes nature and crafting programmes that ‘Him Indoors’ can take or leave.

They both like a good drama however, although there is usually some debate about whether they should watch episodes in real time, at one a week, or binge watch the whole lot over a few nights.

For various reasons they were a bit late to the party with Celebrity Traitors last autumn, so were able to zap through the episodes on catch up. They were so into it that they bought me and Bear bandanas for Christmas that say ‘faithful’ on one side and ‘traitor’ on the other. 

I know which one I am and I’ve got a fair idea which camp Bear would be in but I’m not going to tell you, you’ll have to guess. Which takes me back to my earlier point, where would we be without the TV to entertain us!