If You Ask Me: The Circus has come to Venice

As the world continues to go stark raving mad, it’s not just Venice that’s got a sinking feeling, sighs Flo Whitaker

When a gaggle of assorted weirdos and parvenus recently descended on Venice for an event that celebrity magazines trumpeted as ‘The Wedding of the Century’ – (a claim they may later regret, seeing as there’s another 75 years to go), I was reminded of the travelling circuses of olden times. 

Back in the day, a circus rolled into town and folk gawped at the exotic, strangely-costumed creatures on display; lions, elephants, bearded ladies, sword- swallowers, acrobats and people of unusual heights and girths. 

A medieval circus vibe hovered over the recent wedding of Jeff Bezos, Amazon King and son of a performance unicyclist, and Lauren Sánchez, a zero-gravity, space cadet artiste. 

This charming tax-avoiding pair, who travel by private jet and super-yacht, yet spout greenwash nonsense about philanthropy and the environment, cut a dash in their fancy dress ensembles. Jeff rocked his 1960’s Ken ‘n’ Barbie-style tuxedo, complete with bat-impersonating bow tie, while Lauren scooped first prize in a surreal ‘Woman trapped in overflowing egg-timer’ contest. 

Meanwhile, local Venetians let forth a communal howl; protesting that their beloved city wasn’t Disney World. I nodded sympathetically; recalling self-entitled tourists in my childhood west country home, who treated the village like their personal playground, moved your dustbin because it ‘ruined’ their photo and picnicked in your garden. 

The disco group, Boney M, once rented a holiday home in the village. We guessed they were famous because they had shiny teeth and we’d seen them on Top of the Pops, but they were gracious, low-key, ate in the pub and neatly stacked their plates afterwards, which greatly impressed the landlord. 

Alas, Jeff ‘n’ Lauren have precious little to recommend them. Real stars ooze charisma and don’t take themselves too seriously. As that megastar and super-classy philanthropist, Dolly Parton, laughingly noted, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap”.