Top Five Retro Christmas Songs You Pretended to Hate but Secretly Loved

We’ve all done it.

Rolled our eyes.

Scoffed.

Said things like, “Ugh, this again?”

But deep down — deep, deep down — we knew the truth: these retro Christmas songs absolutely slapped, and we belted them out the moment no one was around.

Here are the top five festive bangers you spent your childhood pretending to hate… while quietly living for every second.

5. “Merry Christmas Everyone” — Shakin’ Stevens (1985)

You absolutely pretended this was “your mum’s music.”

But those jingly opening notes?

Instant serotonin.

You hid your joy behind a sarcastic “Oh great, this one again,” as if the sight of Shaky in a scarf didn’t awaken something profoundly festive in your soul.

The moment it kicked in, you were humming it under your breath in the kitchen like you were in the world’s cheesiest music video.

Secret reaction:

“IT’S CHRIIIIISTMAS!” but whispered.

4. “Last Christmas” — Wham! (1984)

Back in the day, you pretended it was too soppy.

Too dramatic.

Too everywhere.

But let’s be real: you absolutely lived for that synth line.

You felt the heartbreak.

You felt the glamour.

You sang the chorus like you were George Michael reincarnated in a primary school jumper.

This isn’t just a song — it’s a festive identity crisis.

Secret reaction:

Staring out of rainy bus windows pretending your Year 6 crush betrayed you.

3. “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday” — Wizzard (1973)

You claimed the kids’ choir annoyed you.

You pretended Roy Wood’s glitter beard was “creepy.”

But if this came on during assembly? Your whole body lit up like a Poundland fibre-optic tree.

This is pure, unfiltered childhood euphoria — the soundtrack to tinsel, paper chains, and the last day of term before the best two weeks of your life.

Secret reaction:

Full-body dancing the moment the brass kicks in.

2. “Step Into Christmas” — Elton John (1973)

You probably pretended you were above Elton’s festive camp.

You almost certainly called it “too cheesy.”

But as soon as that piano riff started, your head bopped like it was on a festive spring.

It’s shamelessly upbeat, unapologetically sparkly, and exactly the kind of song you pretend to groan at while making a mental note to add it to your secret Christmas playlist.

Secret reaction:

Mildly deranged grin throughout.

1. “Fairytale of New York” — The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl (1987)

Let’s be honest:

You pretended you liked this ironically.

You pretended it was “edgy.”

You pretended you only respected it as a piece of storytelling.

But you blasted it.

Every. Single. Year.

It’s chaotic.

It’s messy.

It’s emotional in ways you didn’t fully understand as a kid.

And even now, something in your chest shifts the moment that piano intro starts.

Secret reaction:

“Not going to cry this time.” Cries anyway.