If You Ask Me: Bring Back the Courtesy Chair

This month, Flo Whitaker recalls the good old days of customer service and courtesy chairs for shoppers

For me, footwear shopping is a (literal and metaphorical) pain, as I have super-slender feet and ridiculously high arches. To be honest, my overall physique suggests I was one of God’s Friday afternoon experiments, as I’m blessed with narrow feet, skinny ankles – and a backside as wide as Norfolk. With such an appalling centre of gravity, it’s a miracle of physics that I manage to remain upright. But I digress ... 

Last week, while gloomily trudging around in search of new footwear, I started to wonder what happened to that traditional shoppers’ friend – the customer chair. Back in the day, they were commonplace. Whether a humble ironmongers or an exclusive London emporium, every shop had a courtesy chair or two, where grateful shoppers could rest their aching legs awhile. You’d often find them located by department store lifts, presumably just in case the elevating G force induced nosebleeds or caused grandma to hyperventilate. I don’t know when or why customer chairs disappeared – but we need them back. 

I did spy two chairs in the footwear section of a well- known store, but they were occupied by a most peculiar couple. One was thoroughly engrossed in a crossword, while the other stared into space, idly munching on a sausage roll, so I lugged three potential pairs of new shoes to the furniture department, parked my not-insubstantial derriere onto a sofa and tried them on. Being a well-brought-up soul, I politely re-plumped the cushions as I left. 

Viewpoints and beauty spots are almost as bad. The weary rambler looks around for a comfy picnicking opportunity – and often finds nothing. When I die, I want no funeral, no eulogies or flowers. I just want a memorial bench, inscribed with the following; ‘In memory of Flo – who hated this spot because there was nowhere to sit down’.